What's Your Favorite Celestial Body? Mine's the Moon.
You know,
It’s weird, right
Because
Growing up,
I had always wanted a brother
Or a sister,
(I didn’t (and still don’t) discriminate)
I don’t think I woke up one morning
And realized
“Oh,
I love being alone”
Maybe it was when I finally started to figure myself out?
Maybe it was a deliberate effort
To shut myself off from The World
Because I was scared of what The World would see,
Or something cheesy like that,
I’m not sure
But,
I love being alone
I remember
When I was a kid,
I would have weekend plans
EVERY weekend,
Like, there was always someone to hangout with
I miss having that kind of energy
It’s not that I, like,
Dislike hanging out with people
But,
Fuck me, I’m tired
Sorry,
I don’t mean
People drain me
Well,
They do,
But not in a bad way,
Like,
I’m just tired
And putting on my happy face,
Shoving down half the thoughts in my head,
Takes effort
I’m digging myself into a hole
Aren’t I?
Sorry,
It’s not that I’m unwilling
To put in effort,
But I’m just me,
And every day,
Week,
Month,
Takes a little more
I can only give so much
And,
Don’t get me wrong,
Like, I’m happy to give you everything,
Which may or may not be much,
But it’s all have,
Just about
Often,
I just need to be alone,
No disrespect,
No shame,
But I’m a bit of a pain in the ass anyways,
I think
Like, if anything,
I’m doing you a favor,
Right?
Which may or may not be much,
But it works out for both of us
Until I lie down to fall asleep,
And
I feel empty,
And I look over,
To your side of the bed,
(The one you stole from me)
And notice that
It, too,
Is empty
You know,
It’s weird, right
Because
For years,
I had always wanted my own space
And,
Don’t get me wrong,
I’ve let people in before,
A lot,
But,
Every time, I was still tired
Is it possible for someone to actually make me feel awake, or alive, or willing to get out of bed in the morning?
I didn’t know
I could be alone,
Truly alone,
With you.
I didn’t know
I would be sad,
Being alone,
Without you.
So,
Can we be alone
Together?
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